At least you know what to get her for Christmas, birthday, Valentine's, anniversary....

.....Penguin Awareness Day (Jan 20), Nat'l Weatherperson’s Day (Feb 5), Middle Name Pride Day (Mar 10), Librarian Day (Apr 4), Star Wars Day (May the Fourth), Flip a Coin Day (Jun 1), Shark Awareness Day (Jul 14), Potato Day (Aug 19), Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sep 19), Nat'l Taco Day (Oct 4),Tongue Twisters Day (Nov 13), Festivus (Dec 23)....

(You know, The Pimp has told me before that I'm not taking this Porn stuff serious enough....)